if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Green mimosas i think yes
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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