He is an equal opportunity slut.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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