She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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