so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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