who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
