dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
