3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
