They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
