I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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