Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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