My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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