There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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