I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
