So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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