He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
