omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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