Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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