Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
