woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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