I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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