i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
