WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
