my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
