white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
