never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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