Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
