Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
