a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
