I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize