State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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