Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize