id be glad to
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
