He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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