Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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