I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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