Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There r osticjed everywhere
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
