I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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