I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize