Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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