She said her name was "party"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
