Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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