were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
