I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
