he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
