oh god the rape fog is back!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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