I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
