I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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