Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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