tell your sister to shave her snatch
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
