worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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