don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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