he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
