You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
