Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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