Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
