i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We talked him into tasing himself.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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