What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
